I have received a call last week from one of my clients, who for internal reasons had to cancel one of the biggest contracts we have signed this year. To tell you that I wasn’t deceived would be lying; The news could have ruined my whole day, week or even month because of the magnitude of such contract. However as I am committed to have a high EIQ (emotional intelligence quotient), I had to analyze the choices I had, so I quickly drew the below mindmap (click to enlarge).
As you can see, by just changing my paradigm from deception to choices, a multitude of options started flowing and I was suddenly enveloped with a warm feeling of happiness. It is strange and weird but in the nicest possible way.
So I continued my analysis and tried to come up with computer and IT analogies; when we delete files in our computers we are just making space for another file, the same goes in our lives; when we lose something we are just making space for something bigger.
A lost opportunity = more focus on a bigger one
A lost job = a chance for doing what you love
A lost family member = more love for other family members, or more focus on continuing what the lost one has started
A lost friendship = opportunities for a better one
And the list goes on...
A women in Lebanon has lost her son in a water sports accident, and after grieving him for a while she felt that her life had stopped; You just can imagine how hard it is to loose a child. But one day she woke up and asked herself the following question: What is the reason that my son was taken away from me at a young age? What is the message behind it? How can I use this incident to serve others?
A week later she has started a foundation with a purpose of making parents aware of the dangers of inattention when it comes to their children. So going back to her choices, she had two choices; either grieve her child for the rest of her life, or help thousands of other households save their children. With the latter choice she now feels that her son’s decease was a rebirth for a thousand more child.
“When you lose something, you are just making space for something bigger”
So if you just think about a loss as a free space, you will not get stuck in the past and will start generating opportunities for the future. It is all about using your energy- any kind of energy; negative or positive - and turning it into choices that will get you closer to your goals.
To know more about increasing your efficiency and how to generate healthier choices, visit our website: www.ideasgrp.com
The world that we live in presents enough challenges for de-motivating the most positive people on earth. On the other hand, people seek comfort when they start sharing their problems with others; and some take that comfort to the next level and will find a need for complaining. As one of my friends puts it: “As human beings, we love to be victimized. Being victimized is perhaps the best way to run away from our responsibilities.”
This implication of being victimized spreads across all aspects of life: Relationships, education, health and most importantly careers.
Looking at the career and professional aspect, it is really annoying to be around people that whine and moan every day at work; sometimes this excessive negativity will drag others into it and will have a slumping effect on performance.
So how do we stop those people from complaining and how do we lift our moods if we think that we are in an awful situation.
First of all, Start by auditing your life: List the good things that are happening in your life and the bad things that you are exposed to and ask yourself those two simple questions: 1) How can I increase the good things? 2) What can I do specifically to change each of the bad things on my list?
Second, Don’t be positive: Yes you are reading correctly. Being positive and wishing for good things to happen is like staying at home without contacting anyone and waiting for Microsoft to ask you to become one of their Vice Presidents. Instead of being merely positive, have a Positive Mental Attitude (PMA) and draw plans, while acknowledging that you will face some negative challenges. So have a PMA and identify what might go wrong so you will be able to pro-act and not re-act.
That brings us to the third point which is Be Proactive. As Dr. Stephen Covey puts it in his habit 1: “Take responsibility for your life”. If you cannot see a change make the change, if things are not going the way you plan, you have two options: sit down and watch things go terribly wrong or take control of the situation and ask yourself how can you change the situation. The how questions open a lot of doors and will get you closer to your desired situation.
The choice is yours; take the driver’s seat and lead your life to your own victory or complain while watching other people climb the peaks of success.
According to a survey done by ideas group on 60 companies in the Middle East, 85% of the workforce conflict stems out of miscommunication.
The study was conducted across companies in different industries: Government, FMCG, Aviation, Industrial, Banking and Finance Telecom and IT, in 11 countries in the following cities: Dubai, Abu Dhabi, Jeddah, Dammam, Riyadh, Kuwait City, Doha, Muscat, Damascus, Amman, Manama, Cairo, Casablanca and Beirut.
When working in virtual teams or working across the region, miscommunication is magnified by the lack of proper writing skills, whether in emails, memos, instant messaging (IM) or even blogs and other social media.
So to simplify things for you, we came up with this checklist of 9 items to look at before sending emails:
· Simplify your message: In Business it is not about literature or chic fancy words, the more simple your message is, the less misunderstanding it generates. So keep your sentences short and straight to the point.
· Use bullet points: People like to see a summary of your ideas, so if you put your main ideas into bullets, it will help the reader scan quickly through it and this will speed up the communication process.
· Use punctuation in the right place: Each punctuation has a meaning a question mark (?) is to ask a question, an exclamation mark as the Meriam-Webster Dictionary puts it “ is used to indicate forceful utterance or strong feeling”. So ending a sentence with an exclamation mark is like a warning sign…two exclamation marks are two warning signs.
· Never write full sentences in CAPS: Capital letters or “caps” are a sign of shouting or yelling, so unless you want to yell at your reader do not write in caps.
· Use calm colors: Using red fonts when writing emails also indicates anger, so whenever it is possible try to use blue or green instead for highlighting.
· Make sure your email has a subject: Sending an email without a subject can be frustrating for people who use the search function of their inboxes, it helps the reader understand the email content.
·If you send an email at 1 am then what you are really saying to the reader is : "you can call me anytime you want" Respecting Work Life Balance is extremely important. Unless it is urgent don't send emails after working hours, you can always schedule to send later.
· Avoid the URGENT and (!)High importance/priority signs: Some people are just used to the habit of sending all their emails with HIGH IMPORTANCE or HIGH PRIORITY; So when they have an issue with a real high importance, how will they let their readers know that this one is really important? I once received one of those with an email that said Happy Holidays. This will only stress the reader.
· And finally, read the email before sending it; we discover a lot of mistakes just by reading it again. If it is an email going to important person, try to get a colleague to read it as well; some sentences might make sense to you but not to the reader.
To know more about Conflict Management, Communication training or any other Leadership, behavioral or team development workshops visit our website on www.ideasgrp.com
Some people just seem to be naturally successful. They reach one peak after another. And the more they achieve the more success seems natural and easy. Those people are not aliens, and if you study them closely, their environment wasn’t all success.
If you want to follow the track of great people like Winston Churchill, Albert Einstein, Pope Jean Paul II, Oprah Winfrey, and Steve Jobs you have to understand what they have done in their lives, and how they have challenged people around them. Those legends have pushed the boundaries of what is common; they have created new industries and found solutions to very complex issues.
After compiling their bios and studying their paths we have discovered that most of them share the following attributes:
1. They have a vision
Not one single high achiever has reached success without a clear vision, a set of goals and ways to achieve them. When Warren Buffet was asked about his path he said “I always knew I was going to be here”
2. They leverage their circle of influence
You might think that high achievers do not need anyone, however none of them got to success without leveraging their contacts. Its not only about what you know, but also about who you know. Steve Jobs of Apple, used Bill Gates of Microsoft several times before launching his products…who would have thought?
3. They are flexible
High achievers adapt to the environment around them exactly like chameleons, and this is how they identify opportunities. While others are complaining about the financial crisis or high oil prices, successful people tend to create opportunities to benefit from the situation.
4. They play at work
None of the top achievers wasn’t extremely excited about what they did, they have all showed passion and excitement in what they do. So if you don’t Love What You Do, its time for a change.
5. They are compassionate
People who hurt others no matter where they reach do not make it far in life, , or at least they don’t grow comfortably. Donald Trump keeps bouncing up and down, went bankrupt, and has thousands lawsuits against him. Do you want to be there?
6. They help others
It has been observed this year that the top 3 of the fortune billionaires list donate large amounts of their worth to others, and more than half of the world’s richest people are big Charity Donors. Those people believe that “What goes around, comes around”. The interesting part is that most of the successful people do not wait till they get rich to start giving, Carlos Slim was always a person to go to when in need, and a free advice giver at all times.
So are you ready to step in the bandwagon of success? All you need to do is to adapt the above 6 attributes to your life.
For more information on how to enhance your life, career and relationships or to attend The Psychology of Success Workshop, visit our website on www.ideasgrp.com
At first companies have rebuffed all social media, claiming that it was a waste of time for their employees and that it weights on corporate productivity. Then, as soon as some success stories rose about the use of social networks to make money – the likes of dell making $ 3 million in less than 2 years just out of twitter, and Perez Hilton becoming the friend of celebrities just by blogging about them, all corporates wanted to have facebook profiles, a presence on linked-in and a need to tweet. However it was done the wrong way.
Before jumping on the Social Networks extravaganza, companies or even people who are looking for a personal branding e-campaign, should ask themselves the below five questions:
1- How is our SEO (Search Engine Optimization) benefiting from our social network sites? Social networks play an amazing role getting our website discovered by the search engines (google yahoo, bing etc). Using key words on our social network will increase the rankings, if you don’t have a corporate social website it is time to do so.
2- Are all of our social profiles and websites interlinked? What makes any website/webpage powerful is the amount of links directed to that site. Connecting websites with links to each other will create your own web of sites and thus would empower your reach.
3- Are all of our profiles homogenous? Having different info on different social websites will confuse the visitors and weaken your reach. All the introduction texts in the “About us” section should state the exact same thing. If a social site is updated, then the same update should be applied in the remaining sites.
4- Are we heard by the right audience? A lot of companies think of adding followers or members randomly however your “follow-ship” companies should be speaking at the right audience. A good way of building a great database of potential customers is to have a blog that can only be read by inserting contact details. Those blogs can be easily made of subjects that only interest your type of clients.
5- Are we offering to our public something of value? Some social profiles only portray publicity and ways of eliciting customers. The web 2.0 audience is always looking for something of value and for free. Wikipedia, Youtube, mashable etc. are perfect examples.
The social networks should be handled the same way we handle the traditional media, you should have a social media strategy, social media officers and an alignment between your overall strategy and online strategy.
Camil El Khoury
For more info about optimizing your corporate performance visit www.ideasgrp.com
Some people are just trusted by their colleagues, clients and friends; others struggle to gain that trust. Looking at trust and rapport in more depth, we find that this is something that you can work on, and not only born with.
True, some people are charismatic by nature, however studies have shown that 87% of charismatic people have worked on their development to become appealing.
What did they do? They have mastered the art of professional etiquette in all its forms. Charisma can be established and nurtured if you simply look at the following etiquette tips:
1. Business attire: How many times have we judged people by the way they dress? Unfortunately this holds true to most people. If you want to look like a banker dress like one, if you go to a meeting unshaved or with a flashy makeup and casual clothing, your clients wont take you seriously. As Queen Elizabeth once said "Dress gives one the outward sign from which people can judge the inward state of mind. One they can see, the other they cannot."
2. Business communications: Do we differentiate between business and casual communications? At home or with our friends, there is a greater chance that people will understand what we mean by our sentences because those people know us very well, on the other hand, at work, we have to use very straight to the point sentences, words that everybody will understand. In addition to that, we have to be very careful with how do we greet people, how do we talk on the phone and what gestures to use.
3. Cross-cultural differences: When dealing with people from other cultures you have to keep it as simple as possible; your goal is to minimize misunderstanding and reach a common point. In order to do so, you have to be very patient and keep a steady voice (yelling at the other person, won’t make them understand better). When traveling ask someone who lived in or has been to the country you are visiting about acceptable behavior such as what jokes would be appropriate, what are the definite “not to do’s”.
4. Basic workplace etiquette: When in the office, some behaviors are not acceptable at all, and still; some people carry on with those actions. It is ok to share with a colleague or two some of your private issues, however what is not ok is to talk private issues on your cell phone in front of all your colleagues; this will disrupt them and make them feel uncomfortable. So keep your phone ring on very low and if you want to take a private call, its better to take it outside the office. Second, If you lost your pen, or ran out of posts it, do not take them from the desk of your colleague without asking them; some people are very organized and loosing stuff from their table will de-focus them when accomplishing a task. And last, show appreciation when people do stuff for you; thanking someone and being nice is very essential, especially for the janitor or the tea person.
5. Netiquette: Now that we are all present on Social Media, blogs and specialty websites, it’s extremely important to have a Netiquette (Internet Etiquette). Do we do a google search on our names from time to time? It’s extremely vital to periodically check what is being written about us and what images of us are available on the web. Do we also portray a good image of ourselves on the social networks? I have once decided not to hire a qualified candidate for a job because of their facebook profile, which broadcasted a totally different image than the one in the interview. We also tend to forget that emails are permanent so if we gossip or talk behind the back of someone over an email (even private email addresses), there is a big chance that this person will see what you have written; IT professionals can restore deleted data.
Business Etiquette while being broad can be improved by very simple measures and very little effort. Walk that extra step in order to build your own confident persona.
Camil El Khoury
Have you ever decided on a new year’s resolution? Of course you did…. And did those resolutions fail over and over again? Of course they did….
Lets us have a look at the top 5 most common resolution over the past 10 years
5- I want to be nice to people around me (family/friends/colleagues)
4- I want to make more money
3-I want to hit the gym
2- I want to quit smoking
1- I want to start a diet
Now if we examine why did we fail over and over again in applying those resolutions, we will notice that once we start applying any of them, the daily habits will kick in and takes us back at square one. We would start justifying our actions by sentences like: I need this cigarette; I have too much pressure, or a bar of chocolate won’t hurt me now; it is just one.
Al of this is natural for two reasons:
1 - We don’t commit to ourselves: as long as no one is scrutinizing what we do, we don’t have a clear discipline and will tend at breaking our promise to ourselves
2- The goal is not worthy enough; we will end up saying that by smoking a cigarette or grabbing a piece of cake it’s not the end of the world.
But what is the end of the word?
This year, resolutions are pointing to a very different, yet focused point; saving the world and more specifically saving the world from Global Warming. Everyone is taking that resolution seriously and that is mostly due to 2 events that have happened in the last quarter of 2009: Copenhagen summit and the movie 2012. In the later, the difference that we have witnessed compared to other similar movies is that, the end is very near and that is, not even in 2 years. We need to take action and action starts at home. By turning off that light we don’t need by turning of the TV and DVD plugs when not in use and by closing the water tap when we brush our teeth or shave, we would be contributing in saving that world. It also goes to using our cars; do we ever car pool? Do we walk to the shop that is 200 meters away? Being environmentally friendly follows us at the office, we don’t need to print every single document that we use, we shouldn’t use plastic and paper cups but replace them with our glass cup or mug, and we should be recycling everything we use.
If we commit this year to a green resolution we will for once be doing a good deed not only for ourselves but for people around us and generations to come.
So let’s turn our green resolution into a habit and do something different this year.
The author Camil El Khoury is the Chief Vision Officer of ideas group; the Middle East leading experiential learning consultancy. www.ideasgrp.com
